100 Ways to Pissoff the Akatsuku
by ItsxHikarixUn
Summary: ahem hello all. this is not by me,,i found it somewhere and that person found it somewhere. xD Cedit goes to original creator. drabble by me on quizilla and on here. Rated t but swearing. Hidan F. word and such.
1. 100 WTPOTA NOTICE PLEASE READ!

Dear readers,,,

AHHHH! I'm sowwy! [again] I haven't updated in like 4 or 5 weeks! . I had these two written out, but never got around to type them… but here they are. I haven't written more cuz I have a predicament. What would ya'll think if I added a little someone named Kyo into the stories? [Kyo: .com/albums/cc311/MrBumbleBee5636/?action=view¤t= ] Lmfao. Can you guess eh, who the dad is? Anywhayss,,, he would be like 2-2 ½? I suppose. Well message me and tell me what ya'll think? Yes or no for Kyo? [Aha that kinda rhymed. xD]

-Hikari.


	2. 100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki

100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki  
--- Disclaimer...This is NOT MINE. i found it somewhere, and that person found it too. Credit goes to the creator..also i do not own Naruto or any of its characters...if i did i would be in it and wouldnt have killed all my favorite characters off.

AS TOLD BY HIKARI KURONO. [my oc..aka me. And then main character besides the Akatsuki in the stories]

1. Throw Sasori's puppets in the fireplace and claim that you couldn't find any firewood.  
2. Ask Deidara when the baby's due.  
3. Talk in third person like Tobi and when someone questions you about it,  
speak normal and deny it ever happened.  
4. Put speakers in all the air vents that lead to the members' rooms and play the Barney theme song over and over.  
5. Stare at the wall during an Akatsuki meeting. At the last five minutes of the meeting, state loudly to Pein, Madara, or whoever is speaking that you weren't paying attention and that they need to repeat the whole thing.  
6. Go up to Deidara in front of the entire Akatsuki and demand loudly why you found your underwear under his pillow.  
7. Start singing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" every time Deidara walks in the room.  
8. Make fake charms and hang them all around the base. Claim that they keep the aliens away. Whenever one of the Akatsuki members says that aliens don't exist, run away screaming, "YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!!"  
9. Whenever an Akatsuki member tells you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.  
10. Replace Deidara's clay with regular play-dough.  
11. Paint Hidan's room pink and cover it with fairy stickers. Pay for it with Kakuzu's money.  
12. Walk around wearing 3-D glasses and scream every time one of the Akatsuki reaches out towards you.  
13. Give Hidan the nickname 'fuzz bag'.  
14. Pour clear liquid soap all over the hallway leading to the kitchen or dining area.  
15. Tell Deidara that Hidan said he was gay. Tell Hidan that Deidara said he was a pansy. See which one attacks the other first.  
16. Ask Zetsu if he has any weed killer and/or a weed hacker.  
17. Write 'Sasuke wuz here' on their faces when they're asleep.  
18. Put laxatives in all their food.  
19. When Kisame's drunk, tell him that Itachi has more sake and 'accidentally' lock the door when he confronts Itachi in his room.  
20. Walk up to Hidan in front of the entire Akatsuki with you toothbrush hanging out of your mouth and thank him for letting you use his toothbrush.  
21. Ask Kakuzu if you can take a picture of him to practice throwing kunai at a target.  
22. Run across the room and hit Itachi on the back of his head and blame it on Tourette's.  
23. Put on a Kakuzu-style mask and claim that you're allergic to idiots. Sneeze loudly whenever you come around one of the Akatsuki members you don't like.  
24. Take out the screws in Pein's chair before a meeting and see what happens.  
25. Put a thong and a bra in Konan's room and congratulate her on getting laid.  
26. Interrupt an important meeting and drag Pein out to come watch paint dry with you.  
27. Stab Hidan in the back when he isn't looking and say Tobi did it.  
28. While Tobi runs away from Hidan, scream "Run, Forest, Run!"  
29. Fling rubber bands at Madara when he isn't looking.  
30. Deflate a hidden whoopee cushion and then yell loudly, "Damn, Kisame!"  
31. Open a brand new cup of instant ramen in front of Kakuzu, eat one noodle, and then throw it away. See what he does.  
32. When all the Akatsuki are standing in a line, shove the one at the end of the line and watch the domino effect take place.  
33. Break all the windows and tell Pein that birds did it.  
34. Demand to know if the real reason Orochimaru was kicked out of Akatsuki was because of the pictures of Sasuke in his bedroom.  
35. Tell Hidan you're writing a book called How to Kill Someone Without Trying. Ask him how it feels to do that everyday with his face.  
36. Yell loudly that you the know the real reason why Sasori keeps so many puppets in his room.  
37. Fire Deidara's clay in an oven and see if it blows up.  
38. Shave you legs in the kitchen sink while they're all eating.  
39. Ask Kisame if his mother tried to eat him when he was a baby. When he looks confused or says no, say that you thought sharks ate their babies.  
40. Yell loudly that you know Pein's darkest secret. Threaten to tell the entire Akatsuki if he doesn't do what you want.  
41. Hold up a picture of yourself to Kakuzu and ask, "Have you seen this person?"  
42. Have loud conversations with yourself in the middle of a meeting.  
43. Put Hidan's stuff in Deidara's room and vice versa. See how long it takes them to figure it out.  
44. Fill a cleaned-out empty bottle labeled 'Sasori's Poison No. 9' with water and drink from it in front of the Akatsuki. Tell them that is gives a better kick than sake and ask if they want some.  
45. Put spiders in Deidara's bed before he goes to bed and see if he screams.  
46. Superglue money to the floor in Kakuzu's room. See how many times he tries to get it.  
47. Freeze rocks in water bottles. Put them in random Akatsuki members' bags.  
48. Steal one of Sasori's puppets and use ventriloquism to talk through it until Sasori notices.  
49. When Pein states that he is Kami-sama, laugh and say that he tells the best jokes in the world.  
50. Cry very loudly and when asked why you are crying, say you had a nightmare about Kisame's face and it came true.  
51. In front of all the Akatsuki members, loudly ask Itachi if you can borrow his makeup.  
52. Steal Deidara's scope and hide it in one of Sasori's puppets.  
53. While Sasori is away on a mission, tell Kakuzu that he gave you permission to sell the puppets in his room for money.  
54. Bribe Kakuzu with a lot of money to kiss Hidan. If he does it, claim that you forgot you didn't have any money. If he doesn't do it, call him a pansy.  
55. Tell Hidan that his God visited you in a dream and that Jashin-sama wants him to do your laundry.  
56. Cut off Deidara's ponytail and haul a** outta there.  
57. When walking past Hidan, Pein, or Madara, randomly burst into laughter and then walk away like nothing happened.  
58. Blow up all the toilets in the base and blame it on Deidara.  
59. Set off all the fire safety sprinklers while the Akatsuki are asleep.  
60. Blow an air horn in a megaphone and run like hell.  
61. Hide Hidan's rosary in a bible.  
62. Smack Itachi in the face and claim there was a bug.  
63. Whenever Itachi, Pein, or Madara gets pissed, giggle and say "Down, kitty."  
64. Whisper to Kakuzu in the middle ofdinner so that everyone notices but can't hear. Demand that he whispers. When he whispers back, scream loudly, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR?!?"  
65. While Kakuzu is counting his money, shout random numbers to make him lose his place.  
66. Fill Pein's room with hundreds of magnets and claim that you forgot his piercings were metal.  
67. Exclaim loudly that Itachi's kitten, Mr. Cuddlemuffin , is kawaii.  
68. Ask Konan to make origami flowers. Superglue them to Zetsu's Venus Flytrap shell.  
69. Randomly burst into song and then walk away like nothing happened.  
70. Ask Zetsu if he eats plants too since he's a cannibal. If Zetsu says no, suddenly yell, "Oh yah! I forgot! Plants use photosynthesis!"  
71. Give Hidan a sealed scroll filled with drawings of bunnies and say that Pein wants him to deliver it to Konoha and to leave immediately. Claim that Pein ordered him not to open it until he reached the Konoha boarder and see how long it takes him to come back.  
72. Demand to know why you found signed copies of the Icha Icha series in Madara's room.  
73. Ask Pein if Jiraiya modeled the Icha Icha books after him since he was his student.  
74. Give Konan blue baby clothes and say, "Congratulations. Pein said it was a boy," and see what she does.  
75. Skip around the base singing, "I Know A Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves" over and over.  
76. Ask Pein if the buiji sealing statue is a model of his mother.  
77. Exclaim loudly that you know what Deidara does with the mouths on his hands at night.  
78. Whenever Deidara reaches out to you, run away screaming, "RAPE!!" When he insists that he wasn't going to rape you, say that the mouth on his hand 'looked at you wrong'.  
79. Announce that you know why Pein has six bodies. When asked why, giggle and stay silent.  
80. Ask Pein if he had to man-rape Yahiko to take over his body.  
81. Buy Kisame a fish tank and ask if he thinks he could fit in it.  
82. Ask Sasori if you can use his arm as a backscratcher.  
83. Ask Sasori if he uses a floor buffer to keep himself shiny.  
84. Tell Pein and/or Madara that Itachi sexually harassed you and see what they do.  
85. Pour water on Zetsu's head and say that he needs it to grow.  
86. Give Zetsu Miracle Grow for his birthday.  
87. Ask Itachi how his imaginary friend Bob is doing in front of the other Akatsuki members.  
88. While standing behind Itachi, sing 'Pop Goes The Weasel' in a scary voice while fingering a kunai.  
89. Throw a dead fish at Hidan and claim that Kisame's cousin wanted to meet him.  
90. Flood Kisame's room and ask if it makes him feel closer to home.  
91. Give Kisame a dead goldfish in a bag and claim that it's his blind date.  
92. Call Hidan a fatass and refuse to give him food, saying that starving for a few months to lose weight won't kill him…literally.  
93. Tell Sasori that the grape juice he kept in the vials beside his puppets tasted good.  
94. Makes outrageous bets with Kakuzu during a card game and cheat so that he sees it. When he protests, claim that you didn't say you would play fair and demand the money.  
95. Ask Deidara whether he is a boy or a girl. When he answers, say "Damn. Guess I owe Sasori fifty yen."  
96. Whenever Hidan starts screaming about Jashin-sama, ask if he took his happy pills.  
97. Yell loudly for Madara to stop stalking you and hiding in your closet.  
98. Hold up a phone and yell loudly to Itachi that Sasuke wants his virginity back in front of the entire Akatsuki.  
99. Tell Konan that you saw Tobi sneaking into her room with a pair of scissors and see what she does.  
100. Play with the air conditioning controls so that it's freezing cold in some of the Akatsuki members' rooms and boiling in others


	3. 100 Ways to PissOff the Akatsuki 3

"Man I'm bored!" I stated blankly laying upside-down, halfway off Deidara's bed.

"Then go do something, yeah." He replied groggily. He was trying to sleep, and obviously I was keeping him up.

"Fine, fine. See ya later." I said quietly as I left the room.

_'What can I do?'_ I thought sitting on the couch in the living room. _'Who's even here again? _

_Everyone except Leader-sama, Konan-san, Zetsu-san, and Tobi-chan. Hmm..i could always..'_ –I pulled out my little handy-dandy not book full of pranks and started scanning it.-

"Ah-hah!" I exclaimed excitedly. "Number 3. Talk in third person like Tobi and when someone questions me about it, speak normal and just deny, deny, deny it ever happened. Perfect!"

So I stood up and started going to the kitchen where I knew Itachi and Kisame were cleaning up our lunch mess.

"Hello Itachi-san and Kisame-sam." I stated.

"Hello." Itachi blankly stated. "Hey Pipsqueak! What's up?" Kisame said as he ruffled my hair.

"Hikari is hungry again. Hikari wants more food! And Hikari don't like it when Kisame-san messes up Hikari's bangs." I stated pouting.

Itachi turned to me, "Why are you talking in third person like Tobi?"

I blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about? I'm not talking like Tobi, or in third person? I just came to get some food." I grabbed a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos [yum (= ] and started to leave.

"And now I have some so bye!" I tried to surprise my laughter as Itachi and Kisame look at each other with the weirdest faces.

-Later that day…-

I was watching some tv and Hidan walked into the room.

"What's up Bitch?" He said quite happily as he plopped down on the couch and pulled me onto his lap.

"Oh not much. Guess what?"

He looked down at me, "What?"

_'Sucker!'_ "Hikari says that Hidan-senpai is Hikari's best friend. Hikari loves her Senpai!" –huggles Hidan-

"Yeah," Hidan started, "But why are you talking like fucking Tobi? Its Fucking annoying as hell."

"Huh? I'm not talking like tobi? Why would I do that? I stated innocently.

"Oh my Jashin! Yes you fucking were!"

"Nuh-uh!" "Uh-huh" "Nuh-uh" "Uh-huh" …

-Two minutes later..-

"AARGH!" He dumped me on the couch and stormed outta the room muttering something about a damn woman and Jashin-sama?

I then burst out laughing, "This…is…GREAT!" XD

-Later that evening-

I had pulled this on just about everyone in the hideout with the exception of Deidara cuz he was still stupid sleeping.

So I was at the kitchen table coloring a picture outta my HUUUGE coloring book, when everyone walked in with menacing glares.

"Hikari…" everyone said together in a creepy-ass tone I might add.

I stood up with a clatter. And ended up falling to the ground, on my face. But I scurried up and ran down the halls screaming bloody-murder.

"What the fuck is going on, yeah?" Dei started, "It sounds like-oohf!" And that's when I crashed into him and we fell with him on top of me. Before I knew it, the rest of the Akatsuki were on top of us too.

"Owww." I whined. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did…

"HELLO ALL! TOBI IS BACK!" He yelled running towards us. "Oooh doggy pile! Tobi loves Doggy piles! Tobi get on top!" He jumped on the top of the pile and everyone groaned. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"Uhhh…" I moaned. "Hikari is not trying this EVER again!"

The End.


	4. 100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki 14 NEW

*Note: Zetsu is keeping guard outside.*

"Mwahahaha!" I laughed evilly as I poured 20 bottle of clear liquid soap all over the hallway leading to the dining room.

I stood up and looked at my work. "Nicee. Un-seeable …dinner should be in 3…2…1.." "DINNER!" Kakuzu called. Then I could hear the guys come running. Well Itachi and Sasori, Konan, and Leader-sama, who were already in the kitchen. I backed against the wall so I wouldn't get hit when they started sliding. Tobi was the first to turn the corner. He started towards me, stepped on the soap and immediatelywiped out. Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara then rounded the corner. "Tobi you're such a dumb-ahhhhh!" Kisame got a little further but soon wiped out too. Hidan and Deidara soon followed. I was laughing my ass off! That is, until Deidara decided to grab my ankle as they went sliding down the hall. I screamed as I hit another person and we ended up in the doorway of the dining room in a big clump all covered in soap.

Konan and Kakuzu just shook their heads at all of us but, Pein on the other hand…wasn't so happy. "THAT'S IT!" He screamed. "I don't care who did this but all of you clean this mess up and then go take showers TOGETHER!" "Uhm….together? How will we all fit?" I questioned him. "Yes together. Use the giant shower in the back of the base. It'll save us money. Now GO!" He scolded.

"Yes Leader-sama." We all mumbled. As we all got up I slipped and we all fell again. "Uhhhhgh," we all moaned in pain. "NOW!" Pain roared.

We all scrambled to our feet, got the cleaning supplies, and before long the hallway was clean. Now came the fun part…the shower. Sure this so called "shower" could fit like ten people and there were only four of us, [no Tobi-mask.] but 3 guys and 1 girl- well, you get what I'm saying.

"Ok guys, bathing suits. Yes?" "Fine." They replied. I soon came back in a two piece string bikini; black with red clouds [original huh?] and the guys were already there. "Damnnn this shower is fuckin huge!" Hidan shouted as we all walked in looking around.

"Ahh the hot water feels so nice!" I said as I stepped into the running water. I grabbed the soap and started washing myself. "No! Let me, yeah." He grabbed the soap and started well, cleaning me. "Uh…thanks..?" I said somewhat suspicious. I closed my eyes but quickly re-opened them when I felt 2 tugs on my top and a sudden draft. I looked up to see my bathing suit top being swung around Hidan's finger. I scuh-reeched. And tried to get it back. I was practically flat-chested and thank God my long purple hair covered everything up. But that still didn't change the fact I wanted my top back!

I jumped up repeatedly trying to get it back but Hidan was just too tall! 'I know I can get Dei to get it back for me.' I put on my pooky face and started whining a bit. "Deideiiiii? Pweeasee get me my top back!" He just stood there staring at me for a moment, then held out his arm towards Hidan. "Hidan. Top." Hidan reluctantly handed it to him, and then Deidara handed it back to me.

"Hmmmph!" I snatched it out of his hands and then stompedoutta the bathroom covering myself up. "Good job dumbass, yeah!" Deidara smacked Hidan upside the head then walked out too. "It was a damn joke! Calm the fuck down!" He kept yelling as he stormed off. Kisame just shrugged and stayed in the shower. [A/N: xD]

I waited, standing behind a corner waiting for Hidan to come by. I heard footsteps. "HAH!" I jumped out and pulled his bathing suit down but then looked up to see Deidara looking down at me with a weird look. "Whatt're you…?" He couldn't finish because I heard more footsteps and I was sure it was Hidan because I heard yelling. I turned to Dei, "Shhh! . . . and pull up your pants already!" "You know you like it, yeah!" He flashed me a sexy grin. I paused. Then rolled my eyes and jumped out at Hidan. "HAH!" I pulled his pants down. "Bitch! You think I fucking care if I'm fucking naked?!" He kicked 'em off and they landed on my head. He thenwalked off naked laughing his head off.

"You..uh….you have…something on your.." Deidara started. "Really?!" I asked sarcastically. Then took them off and rubbed then in his face. "UAGGHH! HIDAN ASS!" He got up and ran off.

I giggled a bit and then too got up and went after him. But not before putting Hidan's bathing suit on. They were way too big so I had to hold them up and they were still hanging off my butt. I walked around singing "Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! You lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground!" Some of the guys laughed, but of course some just shook their heads at me. So in the end, my scheme didn't go exactly as planned but I didn't care. I had fun anyways.


	5. 100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki 19 NEW

Kisame stumbled into the room…with an empty bottle of sake in hand. _'Greeeeaat! Here we go again.'_

"Heyy..Hik..ari-hic…hoe…are y-hic-ou..man..?" He sat down next to me.

"Well Kisame, for one I'm fine. And 2..how many bottles of sake have you drunk?"

He started counting on his fingers. He mumbled a few numbers before telling me, "Seven-hic!" He said seven, but held up four fingers. _'Oh jeeze.'_ I sweat-dropped.

"Hey…you gots..any-hic…more..for me…-hic?"

"Uhm, I don't. Only 16 remember?" I pointed to myself. "Oh yeah! But I think…." A lightbulb flicked on in my brain. "Itachi does in his room. Hes in there right now. Come on, I'll go with you." I helped him up and we walked off.

"Well here we are. Itachi's room!" We stood outside his door.

"Awww-hic.. I wooovee Ihh-hic….tachi!" "When you go in there, tell him that. And give him a biiiig kiss too! He'll give you more sake." I winked at him.

"Ohh-hic..kay!" He opened the door and stumbled towards Itachi's bed where he was laying. "Itachi-kunnn-hic!" He started crawling on his bed towards him. "Do you-hic..have more of da..-hic sake? I need..some-hic! I woveee you muches!" He smiled widely.

I happened to poke my head around the corner and Itachi looked straight at me. "NEH!" I slammed the door shut and whipped out a bunch of locks and threw them on the door. [And locked them.] Then took out a [2 foot wide] steel chain and made a big "X" on the door.

"Itachi what happened? I can't get your door open!"

"Gimmie…a kiss-hic… Itachi-kun-hic!"

I could hear banging and things being knocked over. Then, all of a sudden it got quiet. "…Huh?" I pulled out a mini drill outta my cloak and drilled an eye hole in the door. When I looked in I dropped my drill. Kisame was kissing Itachi! The next thing I knew Itachi was on his bed fainted. FAINTED! I never thought I'd see the day when Itachi Uchiha fainted by a kiss! I then saw Kisame lay down by Itachi and snuggled up to him. "Awwwwhh! XD" I took all the locks and chains off, but left the door closed. "This ought to be interesting when they wake up." I giggled as I walked off.


	6. 100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki 62

And there I was skipping down the halls of the Akatsuki base singing a song about the merry month of May, when I happened to look out one of the windows and found Itachi sitting alone under a tree. 'Perfect!' I thought as I burst into a sprint. I rounded a corner and BAM! Slammed into my best friend Hidan. And then was soon on the floor.

"Owww. I shure seem to get hurt a lot don't i?"

"Well maybeeee you shouldn't be always running around here you dumbass."

"Yeah I guess so… but I like running! :D "

"Right… so whatt're you doing anyways?"

"Gunna play a prank on Itachi."

"Allriiightyy then. See ya later Bitch." And with that he ran off.

"Bye bye best frann!" 'Hm..i wonder why he was in such a hurry to leave?'

I was about to go out but realized I needed a sharpie to draw a "bug" on my hand. "There! That looks good!" I said as I examined my little dot I drew.

So I walked outside and sat down by Itachi but he never said a word to me. 'How rude!' I mentally huffed.

We sat there in silence for about, I dunno..6 minutes? Then all of a sudden SMACK! I hit Itachi's face. And before I knew it I was pinned up against the tree we were sitting against. He already had his Sharingan! [Not Mangekyou thank God!]

"Why. Did you smack me Hikari?"

'Uht oh! Dx' "Well..u..you see..there was this bug on your face and I..uh got rid of it see? I showed him the "bug" I drew on my hand. But I know he didn't believe it was true. 'Oh shit. Hes gunna hurt meeee! T-T '

"Hikari…" he started and closed his eyes.

I screamed bloody murder and kicked him where the sun don't shine..and surprisingly he dropped me! Then I just plain ran like hell into the base.

I dove on the couch in between Deidara and Hidan. "Hide me hide me HIDE ME!" I screamed as I tried to hide myself.

Deidara had a confused look plastered on his face and Hidan told him, "She pulled a prank on..fucking Itachi." He rolled his eyes.

"Hikari! Why…?" Dei pulled up my face to look at him.

"Eh heh heh." I laughed nervously as I scratched the back of my head.

Itachi then walked into the room. I let out an "EEP!" and Deidara pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me.

Hidan stood up. "Now now Itachi. Calm the fuck down!"

"She pulled a prank on me and then KICKED me." He emphasized kicked too. - -'

Hidan turned around to look at me. "Bitch. Why?"

"Well..he was gunna use Mangekyou on me!"

Hidan and Deidara sighed. "Itachi look. Just cut her some slack, yeah. She won't do it again."

"Uh huh uh huh uh huh!" I nodded real fast.

"Fine But next time, I won't hold ack." And with that he walked outta the room.

"Pheww!" I sighed as I leaned back against Deidara. Hidan sat back down next to us. "I don't think I'm gunna mess with him anymore." I closed my eyes.

"Damn right you won't. Otherwise we won't help you again."

I opened one eye. "Oh yes you will." I smirked. Deidara rolled his eyes at me and set his head atop of mine. And I soon drifted off to sleep.


	7. 100 Ways to PissOff the Akatsuki 64

"Time for dinner!" Kisame called from the kitchen.

"Allriighty Dei, to the kitchen table!" I yelled while hopping on his back. He groaned in response but carried me anyways.

As we arrived to the kitchen it seems everyone was already there..and the two seats left open were either by Kakuzu or Itachi.

'_Perfect! Time for another scheme. Number: 64. Target: Kakuzu!'_ I thought as I sat down next to the ex-waterfall nin.

-10 minutes later-

'_All right, now seems like a good time..'_

"Hey Kakuzu-san?" I said as I tapped him.

When he looked at me I motioned for him to come closer.

"What?" He stated just louder than normal. [Its loud at dinner ya know. xD]

"No! No!" I harshly whispered. "You must, MUST whisper ok?!"

"Fine! What did you want to tell me?" He FINALLY whispered back.

- A couple of random comments later…-

"OK! Hikari I am DONE with this stupid whispering crap!" Kakuzu whisper yelled at me.

As soon as he said that, I knew it was time!

"WHAT?!" I screeched. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR KAKUZU?!

EW THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I WANTED TO KNOW!" I yelled still rather loud.

Silence took over as all the Akatsuki looked over at us.

"Hikari..." Kakuzu growled. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"OH SHIIIIIT!" I yelled as I got up and started running.

Well…long story short. Let's say I ran behind Hidan and, well there went his head again. xD

In the end I ended having to pay Kakuzu a $100 fine [dunno why] but I had no money..so Kisame-san gave it to me! xD


	8. 100 Ways To Piss Off The Akatsuki 69

**11:27am.**

"She's a maniac, maniac on the floor!" I sang as I danced on my tiptoes. Then [as soon as 'floor' left my mouth,] I suddenly stopped and walked away leaving Kisame, Kakuzu and Itachi utterly confused.

Yep. You guessed it. It was time for another of my master plans. Today it's #69: Randomly burst into song and then walk away like nothing happened. Target: Everyone. I decided to do this one today because well, I just didn't feel like getting hurt again! xD

**1:16pm.**

"Everyone seems to be outside for some reason…all right! Time for another!" I said quietly to myself and then ran outside.

"Hallelujah it's raining men!" I punched my arms in the air as I ran up to them. "Oh hallelujah it's raining men!" I then sang again as I twirled around. Then suddenly stopped and walked over to a random spot on the grass and laid on my stomach.

With Akatsuki

"What is she doing?" Kisame asked to no one in particular.

"Tobi thinks Deidara-senpai should go talk to Hikari-senpai to see why she being so silly."

"Fine, yeah."

"Yay! Tobi good boy! 'Cuz Tobi Thought of master plan!"

With me.

I was plucking random pieces of grass outta the ground when I noticed a shadow blocking my light.

"Heyyyy!" I whined and I looked up. "Deideiiiiii! You're blocking my sunlight! Dx "

"Sorry, yeah." He mumbled quietly as he laid down next to me. "Whatt're you doing anyways, yeah?"

"Plucking grass…" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Wh-uyyy?" he said back in the same tone.

"Cuzzz."

"Cuzz whyyy?"

"Cuz tis funnn!"

We started laughing.

"So anyways…why are you randomly singing and then walking away, yeah?"

"Ooooooh. THAT. Well… come ere." I motioned for him to come closer and he did.

"Ok , tis time for another of my master plans. And, well, that's what it is. Randomly burst out in song and then walk away like nothings happened."

"Oh, I see, yeah."

"Hey! I just thought of something." I started as I propped myself up on my elbow. "I've just decided that you're gunna help me with this."

"Why me, yeah?" he asked as he laid on his back.

"You'll see." I smirked evilly. "Just go with the flow when I start."

"Fine, fine." He sighed as he stood up and walked away.

With Akatsuki

"Well? What did she say?" Kisame asked Deidara as he walked back over.

"Huh? Oh. It's a secret, I can't tell, yeah." He shrugged.

With me.

I looked up and saw all of the Akatsuki just standing there… staring at me. It freaked me out so I scrambled to my feet and scurried away.

3:45pm.

"There's a she wolf in your closet," I jumped around the room. "Open up and set her free. Awooooooooh!" I howled in Hidan's face.

"Bitch! Back up!" He yelled as he pushed me onto the couch.

"Neh heh." I huffed.

5:52pm.

"Dinner!" Kakuzu shouted from the kitchen.

"FOOD! GLOURIOUS FOOD!" I screamed sprinting down the hall.

9:36pm.

I walked into the living room and found everyone sitting in there watching tv minus Konan, Pein, and Zetsu.

Deidara was sitting on the couch between Sasori and Kisame, and I knew now would be perfect.

As I strutted [a/n: is that even a word? Lol xD] I started singing. "Lets have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Lets have some fun this beat is sick. I reached the couch and sat on Deidara's lap facing him. "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick." I looked straight into his eyes telling him it was time.

By now all eyes were on us. "Really, yeah?" He asked, playing along.

"Yeah-h-h-h!" I half-laughed smirking.

He looked at me for a couple seconds and then picked me up bridal style and ran outta the room. Everyone else just looked at each other.

"Ok! Ok! Stop here!"

We stopped a couple rooms over and started partt2 of the plan.

"Shhh!" I told Deidara as I put my finger to my mouth.

"Ooohhhhhh!" I fake moaned. Deidara's eyes went wide as he figured out what I was doing.

"Louder!" He whispered to me.

"Uhhh, Oh my God!" I "moaned" a little louder.

"Now scream my name!" He winked at me.

"Aaahhhh! Deii-daraaaa!" I screamed.

Hidan could be heard from the other room. "Whoo listen to that bitch moan!"

Deidara and I looked at each other and we rolled our eyes.

"Watch this." I whispered to him.

I started walking back towards the living room still occasionally "moaning" and I could now hear the other guys chuckling but Hidan was laughing the loudest. "Damn shes loud!"

I was now standing in the doorway and all the guys had their backs to me.

"Aaahhhh! You guys are so STUPID!" I kicked the chair Hidan was sitting in and they [Hidan and the chair] went flying across the room.

I walked to the middle of the room and stood there standing with my hands on my hips and a smirk plastered to my face. That is, until Hidan tackled me to the ground. "HIDAN!" I screeched as we were now rolling around on the ground wrestling.

Deidara then came into the room and sat on the couch.

"So it was all a fake?" Kisame asked him.

"Of course, yeah." He looked at me and smirked. I was sitting on top of Hidan laughing. "If it were legit, there'd be a lot more noise, and it'd be a lot longer, yeah."


	9. 100 Ways to PissOff the Akatsuki 93

'_Oh what another lovely day it is at the home of us Akatsuki. I mean really, could today GET anymore boring?'_ I thought laying on the floor in the middle of a random hallway. _'Mabyeee I could pull a prank…?'_ I pulled out my notebook of pranks and started scanning over them. "No, no… mabyee.. nah. Ugh!" I said angrily but quietly to myself so no one else would hear. "Ok. That's it. Next person I see IS gunna be the victim! Then I can decide." No sooner than 15 seconds later did I see Sasori-danna go into the kitchen. "Right! Okay lets see… hmmnmhmmnh….AHA! Number 93! Tell Sasori that the grape juice in the vials beside his puppets tasted good! Perrrfect! :D "

As I walked into the kitchen I saw Sasori cooking. '_Weird? Isn't it not his turn?'_ "Hey Danna! Whatt're you doing cooking in here?"

"Oh, hello Hikari-chan. Well, its almost dinnertime and obviously Hidan forgot it was his turn to cook."

I shivered, remembering Hidans _lovely_ cooking. "Ew."

He chuckled a bit. "Yeah. And you know how much I hate waiting, so.. I decided to come cook myself."

"Oh I see…whatt're we having?"

"Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup." He stated blankly in response to my obvious question considering everything was out and/or cooking already.

"Oh yummy!" I jumped up and down.

-Some small talk later.-

"Hey Dannaaaaa?" I asked, my plan beginning.

"Hm?" He replied cutting up some carrots.

"Well." I started then jumped up to sit on the counter next to him. "Ya know that purple grape juice you keep in your room in those vitals beside your puppets? Well it tasted delicious!" I said while swinging my legs and a huge smile plastered on my face.

He dropped his knife on the floor. "WHAT?!" _'Gotcha!' _"THOSE ARE NOT GRAPE JUICE! THAT'S POISON! HOW LONG AGO DID YOU DRINK IT?!"

I put on a worried face. "Just before I came in the kitchen…"

He looked at the clock. "Ok, I think we should be able to save you. We need to get Pein and get to the medical room NOW!" He picked me up and ran off towards Leader-sama's office.

I looked up at Sasori as he was "speed walking" [Leader says noo running. Bah hambug I say!] and he looked pretty worried actually. '_Mabyeeee.. I should tell him the truth. Ugh! This sucks! Damn you Sasori!' _I mentally shook my fist at him.

"Uhm..Sasori..you can stop.. I didn't drink any poison ya know.."

"Yes you did. That 'purple grape juice' was-wait." He slowed down to a halt. "Was this one of your infamous pranks Hikari?"

"Ah-heh-heh-heh. Mabyee. I tried hiding my face with my hands as to say 'Don't hurt me!' And the next thing I knew.. I was on the ground whining about how my butt hurt and Sasori was walking away.

"Ugh these damn pranks always ALWAYS end with me getting hurt don't they? At least this wasn't too bad." I got up and started walking down the hall. Well wobbling is a bette word.

Later that night Sasori ended up forgiving me..but I had to do all of the dishes. Even though it wasn't my turn.

I pouted while cleaning the dishes, hoping mabyee that would get someone to help me. But it didn't. Then walks in and "accidently" dropped a full plate of leftovers into the sink, which ended with a very wet and covered in food Hikari.

"Ok. No more pranks with Danna." I sighed to myself.


End file.
